For Max, the most wonderful man in the world
With my Koficzką went for walks, I caught butterflies, though he was ashamed of that, and then were let in to announce to the world our love, relationship, falling in love or how it could have been otherwise named. Koficzka became the first, confident that it will never end, more than death, which we absolutely do not wished. Besides, she wanted everyone to live forever, after all, so much to do, so much to say. Does not even have to begin life as well and I have to leave somewhere there, the unknown, where a man is afraid, asking what's next, next and probably feeling not exist.
- you may kiss the dead? - Koficzka asked me once, when We let another winged friend. Flew up a bit, then slept on one of the many flowers of our beloved meadows. - Can they just like to approach each other, as in the earthly life, and fondly embrace? What do you think?
- The question of whether the dead stop after the death of feelings, whether they are being deprived.
worried, not so I continued the subject, hugged her and gave it a kiss meaning in our słownikiu "do not have to worry about." Quickly regained a good mood, my little Koficzka, and gave me a kiss under the name "and all right, kitten."
We went to another part of the meadow, closer to the forest, who associate it with a mysterious, haunted place. Although it is feared, often asked me about strange stories, told so, what terrible things are happening among the trees, what ugly creatures live there and just waiting for the unwary passer lost a step. Koficzka trembled, begging for me it has always defended. I will Of course, I'd be, I replied with a laugh, just changing the subject to more cheerful. The balance had to be in our lives, how strange sometimes.
- everything is strange - she noted. - If there was nothing strange is that everything was explained, meanwhile, is not it? At least not for everyone.
- You think too much.
Kucnęła to look at Biedronka. She screamed, "but pretty!" a good half a minute before they got up and decides that we should go.
- Where?
- for himself. I go home and you go home.
- Say you me, baby - I started, probably the one hand, on the other hand I doubt - you will live together?
- I need to finish school, you know.
- well, finish. She rose from her knees
. We said goodbye to the meadow with its population and moved the common way to disperse after less than a kilometer, each in his direction.
*
It was not easy with her. As a person very childish, even though almost adult age groups, could erupt at the slightest problem, both with anger and with laughter. Anyway, it was closer to gówniary, indeed, was it, but oh well it bother me? Nothing or almost nothing, not counting the moments of the collapse, during which I wanted to tell her everything honestly. Immediately, however, smiled ingratiatingly, promising that more will not. I had to love her, that's obvious.
So loved. Morning I woke phone, sparing no compliments, in the afternoons where I would take just wanted the evening and mulling over a joint life. It may soon happen, maybe not, maybe at all. Sometimes I wondered myself, what am I doing with this girl as Koficzka. Why was the man with before a lot to gain, comes as something very simple?
- Nothing is easy - Koficzka sighed. - I do not like to think that something is easy, then this does not cope. Because then shame, is not it?
- You are adorable - I replied, not even thinking about what I say.
She shrugged, odd, sad, weird, because usually the kind words began to behave like a child is delighted with the new toy. Sometimes, however, that with her toddler escaped, sailed, in a fit of sudden adulthood Koficzka showed a different face, while appealing and repulsive. Now I was the younger mentally, listening to the wisdom of life of teenagers with one foot already in the adult world.
- On osiemnastce they want me to get drunk - asked, after a long silence, still in an unpleasant mood. - My mom is quite excited that he drinks vodka. And I do not like alcohol.
- But with me you drink beer?
She laughed, then replied:
- With you, even denaturant wypiłabym!
- Whoa, that we would then not long pożyli.
- No. And I was also afraid that ... you know ... the deceased did not have feelings.
- I told you, do not worry, you away to be deceased - I said seriously, but then I gave the girl a blow in the left flank, and the next, next, until I started crying with laughter. Fearing that a fall in the higher praise, I walked a few steps. I wanted to smoke, but Koficzka did not like, when I did it with her. Once you ask why, she answered that simply. She preferred men with a child at his side than a cigarette in his hand. - Okay, fertilizes a woman and I'll be with my daughter or son to walk for walks.
- Take it!
- What? Or maybe you ... Come on, after joking. - I went back into place and I took the girl tightly. - I love you.
- Really? Next
not believe. Despite being with me for a good few months, often marveled at the world's most wonderful profession. Of course, it was possible that in my mouth it sounded artificial, for the show, which also tried to check in late at night, before the mirror. Then I repeated the tired "I love you" in different voices, sometimes softly, sometimes loudly, with a smile, or without, with admiration or without emotion, more embarrassed than when catching butterflies. On the other hand, it was some kind of solution - I learned to safely express feelings, which soon Koficzka greeted by an even greater amount of sensitivity.
second reason lay in disbelief conviction of its own ugliness. In this case, was no exception, pleased with any body part, with zero complex number, the more delighted not to each other like some kind of wonderful girl, gorgeous girl that just happens by itself. Koficzka complained, cried, hugged, and do it so charmingly that he behaved like a kid and explode sincere gladness. Despite assurances that for me - for me, for what it circumvent the others? - Is the most beautiful, then wrung their hands over the problematic hair, oily skin and crooked legs. Those were the biggest problems with which waged a long struggle for weeks, to later say with resignation:
- certainly will not succeed.
- Do you have a straw enthusiasm - I noticed. - How many people. Man something starts and ends.
- Well, after I said that nothing is Easy!
That day, when again we find ourselves in a meadow under a thick layer of clouds, most had come to resent her hair. Without the sun looked pale, dry and just not nice. For Koficzki, of course.
- Do not worry, I'll buy you a shine hair conditioner.
- Will you buy?
- Oh, baby! You do not need supplements, you're beautiful. When I finally believe him?
- I do not know. You're the first guy who tells me this.
- And you had before somebody?
did not have to ask. I knew that I was her first, which welcomed the expectant parents of a child from a shopping trip. She waited in her romanticism, probably on someone else, przystojniejszego, higher and with a greater sense of humor, meanwhile, hit on me, but about me i can tell you a lot of harm. Koficzka but saw only my advantages, disadvantages, or not noticing, or omitting, according to the oft-repeated principle: "the bad things it is better not to remember." I did not agree with that to an end, because I wanted to girl to a boy she knew in its entirety, and its good and bad - then if you do not feel disappointed with the kind of relationship ideal. I have become the for Koficzki when leaving, which is difficult in the beginning, then too, but who cares? You have to be, love, sex and believe in getting a better future.
- We will build a house by the sea - enumerated - every day we walk along the beach, we'll have at least two children and a cat, dog, and nice neighbors .... No, the neighbors not only spy on the neighbors and ask for sugar.
- Neighbors are professional perverts. Are waiting until the girl or woman goes to the balcony to sunbathe and I stand on his own.
- No need to say what ever you did - I put out Koficzka.
- I did not have a balcony. Now, indeed not.
muttered something like "sorry" and again fell into a melancholy mood. Had wanted to write anything, have married in this most sad book in the world. Once I lived the dream of being the most famous, once a writer, once a model, once a singer. I was not surprised at all, after all, teenagers are going through pretty ironic how a profession that looks on television, where it shows the hard work gotten success. Koficzka long wanted to become an opera singer - Often literally howled over my ear, and I had to lie, it is perfect. It was not. Mocking. Vein no talent, and the conviction that it has, like most people on our planet, seeing everything. No, nowhere, has not seen yet Koficzki-opera singer appearing in major cities of the world's biggest celebrations. The audience clapped to the mother earth and wept with emotion, happy to deliver such fame. I have not spoken out loud, of course, their doubts about the realism of dream girls, after a while she began to discover that to do anything is not suitable.
- will stay cleaning lady - she said.
- You have to be such a pessimist?
meadow in the sun beautifully presented, like Koficzka again, so I could not believe the words of my lovely. He caught a yellow butterfly, to cheer her up, unfortunately, in vain: she let me let the poor creature. I felt that time comes serious conversation.
- What do you want to know about life, Koficzko? - I asked quietly. We laid in the grass, regardless of walking all over us vermin. - Maybe you want to know why the grass is green and the sky is blue, why do crows caw, for example, instead of wronować ...
- And do you know?
- No, but I thought that in a joint interview for something you get.
- all can be more, is not it?
- Exactly. You can even everything. - Fearing that says, "especially with you", I added: - Well, unless you hit on a man like me.
- So what?
- What do you love while they grieve their loved one.
- I sorrow not for you, just because I have my doubts. I'm afraid.
- What?
- End of feelings.
laughed. As usual, not giving up Koficzka topic, if you do not got a comprehensive answer. In this case, my thoughts remain constant at the death of people in love.
- As I die - and you'll die first - Wave of the sky, unless I commit there.
she cried out suddenly, without any signs of that going to explode with tears. Long hug her and told her, before she calmed down, though, and then shaking, certainly not from the cold. The sun tight, wet eyes Koficzki illustrating her acne complexion, now very red, which itself considered a curse of fate, and I've seen in this certain charm, where I could enjoy it more that others do not notice it. Semi-long, dark hair shone, were probably too soft, but I do not check so as not to cause a further cry from the girl. Later we lay still for half an hour, talking longer without unnecessary explosions, whether from joy or of sorrow, or with anger. I mean, at least she tried myself and prove to me that it can not avoid, on the other hand I also thought about from now on just every word uttered with care and appropriate tone. Several times I confessed Koficzce love, looking straight into the eyes of a lovely young ladies what they want too much than can be done.
theme of love after death we are not permitted, but I tried to knock the girl's head all the pessimistic thinking. Unfortunately, tied with a very bad about yourself and your life thinking, with complexes for not only beauty, but also a way of being, which somehow made it to the Koficzki wieloproblemową teenager. I managed to with this tame, during the conversation, however, when once again the voice uttered their doubts, I shouted that I do not really care.
- Why think about death, if we have enough to survive? - I added the words to mitigate. Anyway, I did not have: as a man of strange Koficzka reacts to different situations smiled broadly and replied:
- Well, a lot!
Then - still lying - she raised her hands, wanting to embrace the whole sky, and maybe even the whole world. I breathed a sigh of relief.
- We'll come back someday to this, okay? - I promised. We got up and went for a walk, the way otrzepując with ants and other insects.
We walked around as much as we lay in silence without embarrassment. Koficzka youth sang a song he once heard, probably also with paragraph girl. Humor broke our phone we have, definitely tell her daughter to face at home for dinner.
- Mama terrible cook - she said, as I knew very well. - Will you eat.
- But I know how to do just noodles with sweet and sour sauce. Przejadł not you?
- Not a bit.
After these words is gone, long waving me goodbye.
Koficzka existed, but sometimes I had the impression that a delusion is just a man looking for other sensations than ever before. Not that I chased the teenagers, well, they were to me quite remarkably inert. Some issues I gówniarskie wkurzały, second delight, the third and did not pay attention. Koficzkę knew, when he was part of the most dangerous periods, when one side szczeniactwo is normal, the other world is expected from the girl or boy mature perspective on some things. It's such a revolt, the struggle between the individual a group in which the first is usually subjected to a second. I probably would not, she would carry. The advent of the much older and experienced man opened her eyes, she began to see differently, and that even this, as previously argued forcefully that he knows well, meanwhile, turned out to be the other way around - do not know, only the surface, depth and remained hidden until the appropriate moment. She was afraid to adulthood, but with me feel more confident, sometimes even behave in a manner disrespectful compared to peers. Fortunately, I did not need them to know, although I knew a few like me. I accepted this fact stoically person acquainted with the most strange feeling.
- They're stupid - she said during the first trip to the meadow, discovered quite by accident. I agreed not to cause strife. At the same time be surprised
. Among teenagers it is extremely difficult to find signs of true friendship, that does not end when one of the girlfriends go to the appropriate distance. Koficzka told me how a girl can have sex, joke sensitivity with which to treat yourself to the wild delight then insult each other behind their backs. I laughed with this, though I should weep over the state of modern youth. Important, however, that I had Koficzkę, adolescent and prettier every day. Grow into a wonderful woman, wife and mother, I told myself at home, after cowieczornych exercises before a mirror.
- I love you - I repeated one Sunday, loud and clear, looking at his reflection. Was ready to have another way out of Koficzką, Meanwhile, she was already here.
- What are you doing?
I did not hear knocking, indeed, probably came not to make me a surprise. We surprised each other, we do not know that someone more important, however, that there had been no major quarrel. I invited the girl into the living room, rarely frequented me, every so he was looking with curiosity at the walls, watching the furniture, plates and books, sometimes renting something. She looked at it at a much younger than in reality, the rozweselonymi eyes and legs are not likely to decide in which direction to follow: whether to the rack, or maybe a TV or a window. Typically, chose the couch - has placed on its side and meditate on something. So it was now.
- What do you want to know Koficzko? - I asked again.
- I realized that the dead but they love - said in a tone as if talking about the weather. - And the dead and the living. Recently I dreamed of my aunt. I told you about it?
nodded. It was a sister of the mother Koficzki, very nice woman who was killed in a car accident just a year ago. Girl tied to her more than to the bearer, and so much survived her death. Then the dreams began, which quickly disappeared, until today. Today my aunt's niece wanted something to announce.
- Sometimes I think that we can talk with characters from dreams, just as we do not know. You know, people do not always know how to fly, so it is likely that, as we learned to fly, so we learn to connect with dreams.
- Rather walks into fiction.
- And who defends the reality? - Asked quite seriously Koficzka. Without waiting for an answer, added: - I have just assured that death is not the end of a stage. That it will not end.
- There will be, I promise you. I love you - I said, not even guessing that profess her love for the last time.
* One day love is over.
No, none of us died, had not committed suicide or were killed. Koficzka lived long, I've also had some contact, but purely peer podwożeniu involving a different place either on normal conversations. Infatuation ulotniło somewhere, although much remains to explain a lot to tell and much to forget. The reason was prosaic - new boy Koficzki, peer, so he could talk freely with him on the parents. Youngsters have the advantage over older, they do not have to fear or hide. She explained to me long for his love, if they commit a serious crime.
- hard - I replied. - It could be worse, I could quit you, and then you cry.
- You know and so that I will cry.
- Why?
- Because something is over.
- Nothing has ended, only changed. We'll be friends, although it sounds. Do not cry.
hugged her one last time. Moments later the phone rang; Koficzce quickly returned a good mood. Actually have to love a boy then, I thought, letting go of my little. A month passed, and a declaration of love practiced in the same way, but to another person.
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